But no, I'm happy.

I feel so disgusting at the moment. So badly disgraced and debased. And guess by whom? No one but 'HIM' , yes guys, its no other than O ; I don't understand what gets into him at times (most of the times). He's a sweetheart but there's a completely different and obnoxious man inside him who often gets over and rips my soul apart.

Sometimes I wonder no matter how much I take care of him, no matter how much I ignore his rude/ degrading comments, he would never understand I do it just cause I've so much love for him and that he should at least be polite with me rather than throwing those sarcastic comments in a very strident tone. Or God has created every men on the face of this planet with no heart to understand? Do all of them take women for granted?

.. I am completely out of words. I know this post is going nowhere but its the only place who listens to me, bears up with all my mood swings. He would never listen to me, jab k he knows how much excited I'am to tell him about my day, about how different I felt about him today, he would just give me 'Baby, neend arahi hay'.
Let me pen down our conversation which has just ended;

Me: Baby, you know what? I wanted to tell you this thing for so long but since you were busy with work I had been waiting for the right time.

Him : Hm?

Me: I took out astagkhara ( A sacred thing, Muslims believe its one way to ask Allah what's better for us or what way to choose) for our relationship and guess what? Its a YESSS!

Him : I don't believe in it.

..another long discussion went on.

Me: Thats okay if you don't believe it. I do. Yeaay, I'm so happy.

*silence*

Me: Babyyy?

HIm : mm..

Me: say something naaa!

HIm : neend arahi hay. Goodnight.

..and we hang up!

No place for my excitements, my laughters. I feel like a looser. Hurt badly, turned down once again. But its okay, I am still happy for I have him by my side.

Sigh-

16 love for me ..:

nZ! said...

Guys start taking you for granted if you express too much and express too often, that is, your expression of love for them..

Nostalgic said...

True. So, what's the right decision? Not telling them about how we feel?

Sidra Ch. said...

When he gets up, kass kay chapair lagana. [give him a tight slap], that will bring him back on track, seriously.

Lost Soul said...

I love you for loving him. Try to find the HE in him, not the one you don't want....i would like to talk to you about it, if you want so.

Lost Soul said...

I love you for loving him. Try to find the HE in him, not the one you don't want....i would like to talk to you about it, if you want so.

Zee said...

i agree with nZ!..don't express every other day..it makes a guy sure of the fact that he wont lose u, and he is ur weakness, let him know you can manage without him too. Dont tell it straight forwardly ofcoarse, just drop in hints. If guys know they still havnt conquered all of you, they will keep trying for more..once a guy has it all...then he can be a dork

♥ ♥Duchess ♥ ♥ said...

aww...!
thts sad babes...!!
Don't talk much...show him your place in his life for few daysss...yes it seems you r taking him for granted.
good luck

Crazy Diamond said...

people can be heartless at times. for reasons unknown to us. it hurts the most when someone you love does not pay attention or loses his patience with you..but it shouldn't be a regularity too... the heart cannot and should not deal with pain and rejection and humiliation ALL THE TIME.

you love him so much. its evident! i hope he gets over the negativity that is in his life...and realizes that this woman loves him with all her heart and soul..

be strong. love conquers all ;)

Nostalgic said...

@ Sidra: Haha, nice one. But i doubt, the 'chapal' would come back to me, harderr this time =p

--

@ Lost: I know him inside out, but I feel sad about the fact that how he loses his interest whilst I am always so much eager to know about things related to him.

Nostalgic said...

@ Zee: I think I should implement this now, thanks babes :)

--

@ Duchess: Pardon? I don't take him for granted, he does. But yeah, I'm going to lessen my texts and calls, I hope it works :) Sigh - !

Nostalgic said...

@ Diamond: I'm trying, giving it all of my patience and strength. I hope it works out and he understands, somehow.
Men could be such a pain sometimes, I sweaarr!

Zee said...

lol..but always remember how its all worth it in the end.. Its a fact that a man cant ever truly understand a woman, nor a woman can understand every aspect of him. you just have to be patient with a few things, and some things better be left unchanged..=) goodluck

Nostalgic said...

Yeah, I'm being patient (= and I have realized, I can't change him for there's just one person I could transform and thats my own self. I'd have to donned into the kind he wants to be with.

♥ ♥Duchess ♥ ♥ said...

oops..! i mean..you are been taken for granted...i was in my own world while i typed that...Xcuse me for tht..!

Nostalgic said...

Haha, aww. I understand :)

Crazy Diamond said...

happens with us all, love..

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I believe that it's the ordinary that is so distinguished. I am only an amateur who sees the mundane with a twist. Goes around putting titles on self-perceived moments as life goes on by...