..sitting among the shore of doubt, watching the waves of regrets.

I always held his hand firmly, with no promises and commitments. I had a strong believe in myself and in my love, that I'll transform all his negativities into pure thoughts..
i failed .

.. he told me, he wouldn't marry me. Not that he don't love me but he would choose not to marry, for some domestic reasons which I obviously don't want to understand. I thought I could walk away any hurdles with him..

Shayad kahen kami reh gai? Meri mohabbat shayad kamyaab nahen hui ..

I am hurt.. trying to gather the pieces of my shattered heart and soul before its too late.





22 love for me ..:

Scribbling Girl said...

OO shit I so knew this feeling...u made me go back in my past....and i used to say same thing...even though everyone arnd said noone ever will love him like u did........and they were right......!

IT failed as he was a failure no guy who cant take u to aisle is a failure....it took me long to realize but i realized ultimately...no domestic pressure is that big....i realized when i met this guy who changed his life upside down just to have me....and i get jittters....but then i am not my EX.....so wait gal ...ur knight is to arrive...thats y ur hurt!

Loads and loads of >hugs<

Splurgerina said...

Agree with Scribbling Gal..I actually remember one of our teachers back in college having a random conv with all of us one day..she said guys who make excuses (any excuse big or small) about marrying you are cowards and aren't worth wasting your time on..I'm a huge believer in love conquers all..sorry to be so blatant..but it's true!! Consider him the loser for losing out on a wonderful girl like yourself..there's someone better out there for you!! :)

Me-Era* said...

You know what? You will be fine. Absolutely. :)

Zee said...

it might sound a bit offensive, but believe me i don't mean it like that. Since the day i started reading ur posts about him, i had this feeling it wont end well...i really do wish u the very best, but somehow, i did see pain and betrayal.. You truly are a gem of a person honey. The way u love him, the way u care..but maybe u just aren't meant to be together..and a day will come, when u will get over the regrets, and life will be much more better..
somethings just aren't meant to be..

xoxo..be a strong woman..

Nostalgic said...

He's my man. I'll hold on to him.
I know he's the one.

Ubaid said...

Do you really think, such a guy deserves love?

Nostalgic said...

Ubaid, he does. He deserves much more. He's just worried about future..

Sidra Ch. said...

You shouldn't cry over such cowards. Be strong. It's always good to have a valid reason to hate someone who once loved. *hugs*

Nostalgic said...

I can never hate him :) I am gona continue loving him, Sidra.
Love has no conditions, remember?

Sidra Ch. said...

That would be like holding broken glass, hoping it would become a single piece once again?

Nostalgic said...

He's the one who has made me this strong, I have learned to carry a mature relationship. He's just inclined towards the negativities in life, I need to drag him out of it.
.. lets see if I succeed.

Zee said...

yes,do hold on till u can..and give it every chance that u can afford. bcz there is nothing in the world like ur first true love..but if a time comes that u need to let go..dont hold on too tight then..

Anyway, i hope such a time doesnt come :)

All the best

Reenie said...

All I want to tell you here is that you should NEVER NEVER blame yourself like you are doing here.

It is never just one person's responsibility to keep a relationship going, or to give it a direction or a name... Never.

ReeBz said...

I dunno how bad you must be feeling, but please dun forlorn, dun be sad, just know it, he does not deserve you!Loyalty is the first thing in love, and i think he does not have it..

Shantanu said...

I am so much with agree with Splurgerina. Baby you just 18, thoughts like these are inevitable in this situation. You should keep yourself as first priority. See things from very logical and practical view. Love should have a tinge of practicality, so noone get hurt. Please wake up bachha, donot hurt yourself. We care for you yaar.

Anonymous Someone said...

I don't know what to say,

mohobbat ko humesha mukaam mile, ye zaroori to nahi,
kinaare agar mil jaate to sukoon mil jaata,
par kinaare shayad mukaddar mein nahi likhe is leher ke.

Take care, and choose your path carefully.

Regards

Crazy Diamond said...

Men take longer to grow up compared to us women .. we are emotionally very strong...ALWAYS stronger than men.. in any age.

so yeah, stay the way you are..super woman :)

if it's meant to be, it will work out.

. said...

I was worried for you :(

Scribbling Girl said...

I agree to what crazy diamond said :)

Love made me stronger too so i know!
Give it a shot till the end!
I am firm believer in it!
I was bit harsh as i felt maybe he is one of those guys who find reasons to leave...if he isn't i am with u gal :)

Give ur best shot :)

Nostalgic said...

Yes, my ladies, I am holding onto him :) and guess what? He promised to stay by my side :) I have all my faith in him.

Anonymous said...

Hey... I'm going through something similar. Domestic problems i mean. Sometimes he just wants to give up, its too much for him to handle. But well he didnt say he wouldnt marry me, we decided to 'fight' it. It sounds like a fairytale doesnt it. But its not. I know it sounds wonderful to hear and say i will do anything for you. Thats what we say to each other. But sometimes it does get extremely tough. and he just wants to give up. And that is when i try to be his strength and make him show that fighting is it worth it. Well in the end you dont really know whats worth what but yeh. You should do the same- make him see tht things can be fine. make him understand that things can work out. You are willing to compromise, sacrifice, change and adapt. (youve got no idea how important these four things are in a rebellious relationship.) you gotta compromise and sacrifice a lot! So you also need to be sure that you want to do all that. Its just an example but lets say his parents dont want you to work and you want to- in the end youll have to do what they say cuz you need to please them. These are things you should keep in mind and inshallah everything will happen for the best.

Nostalgic said...

Hey Anonymous, I agree with whatever you have written above and yes, I'm being his strength and in the end, I know its not gona end in vain..

Thanks :)

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I believe that it's the ordinary that is so distinguished. I am only an amateur who sees the mundane with a twist. Goes around putting titles on self-perceived moments as life goes on by...