The sunshine of my life.
It's all relative - feelings, emotions, words, strengths, weaknesses. Sense of association has always been missing from my plate. I've mastered the art of being alone in a crowd, indifferent to sounds, noise, movement, beauty, warmth and fear. The world I've lived in has been so small that I could always indulge myself in wandering all around, again and again, a thousand times, whenever I would need to escape. Streamlining the events that had took place throughout the journey, has never been easy, still I never gave up. Why would I always try to restart my life, every time it crashes? Why wouldn’t I try to find out why it crashed, in the first place? I’ve always been in search of answer to this question, but in vain.
Presence – some people cannot see it. Others might not feel it. Some others can do both. I am another kind. I could see it, feel it but could never believe in it. Colors of relationships, colors of feelings and colors of belongingness are so vivid around us, and I’ve always been color blind. I could never put aside the like ones; they seemed all the same to me. How could I pick one?
Sight – the art of seeing is in neither getting too close nor getting too far from the object. This, I got to learn much later in my life, when I had already turned my back to the sights that could complete the scenery of my life. Yes, now if I look at it, I find centers of incompleteness, unfinished corners and spilled colors.
Belief – I’ve always been a crawling reader, not because I couldn’t read, but because I couldn’t believe. Words always sound confusing to me. I prefer reading sounds. I’d run around an object, trying to find its shadow, just because I couldn’t believe in its existence, alone.
I’ve been stepping back…away from you, because I couldn’t believe in your presence. And it’s only now that I can see you clearly because earlier I’ve been too close to see you…
…and you’re so beautiful.
Your smile is like a shower of content. It’s so bright. It has lit my world.
Keep shining up there as I find my own self. You are the only mirror I can see myself in.
So, look at me, and help me listen to your eyes. Hold my hand and take me back to our home. Take off my shoes, and let me rest my head in your lap. Run your fingers in my hair…till I go to sleep.
…for I’m ready.
So, hold my hand and take me back to our home.
- your's O.
- your's O.