You deserve better.

You deserve better from me;
you deserve all the answers
but sweet human,
I'm still asking questions.
Bury me where no one else will go;
forget the sugar-coated regurgitation
about lavender love that shines like gold.
Everything you do will be hard
or will make you that way.
Redemption comes with how you choose
to present and overcome those things.
It is a tough world
that only hardens more with time
and you deserve the raw truth
about the things in this life
that are bound to hurt you.
We are but molecules.
A spirit confined by the walls of skin;
peasants in a king's game,
angels with a destiny before them
to sin, to sin, oh do we sin.
Even so, you deserve better from me.
I deserve better from you.
I am merely a soul journeying
until my clock ticks no more,
and god dammit i vow to give
shades of what this life really is
even if that means entering a war
with myself to speak only absolutes.


You deserve better from me as someone who decides to place their thoughts on paper. You deserve to know not just the good parts but the ones that make you hit your knees. You deserve more than cliff notes and cookie cutter reads. I vow to you now, beautiful ones, that i will speak about what hurts and breaks me; redemption in the eyes of the troubled, because when this world falls silent what do all of the labels really mean? It is a fine night in December and I have never felt more free..dancing on the graves of what is original to speak truth, hard truth, straight to humanity and the love carved by us.

Stay ?

I cannot ask you to love the darkest parts of me;

There will be bad days..

and you won't always be able to save me

from them, and i need you to know that's okay;

that's not what i need from you.

I only ask that you know they will always pass,

and I shall be here.

And I will love you with all of me..

I promise there's a light in me;

bright and pure; 

and it belongs to you, only.

I just ask one thing;

let the way I love you define me and help me do it better. 

Lost and Found.

Its as if the only reason i don't want to hear from you when I'm mad about any and everything is because a second of hearing your voice would bring the biggest smile to my face and i'll be all fine.

It's the reason why I don't call you hundred times in a day when i'm finding a million reasons to be mad at you because you make them fly away.

But i just want to savor a little of that anger. Because it makes us human and i want to savor all of the rest of my time listening to you.

And that love, makes you my contradiction.

Every Tomorrow !

I
would have given myself
to you one hundred yesterdays ago,
if it were in my power.
I'm sorry you had to wait so long,
but i promise,
I never stopped searching, and
believing you were out there..
I always felt your light,
even when the world was dark.
I always felt this love for you,
burning in my chest.
All I can give you now,
is everything I've become,
today,
tomorrow,
and everyday hereafter.
I love you.
Now.
And eternally.
This fire burns,
for you,
and no one else.
All I can give you,
is every tomorrow,
and I hope that can be enough ..

To The Man I Want To Marry ..

Promise as good as you will be to me
you will be even better to this world,
Know I do not see you for who you have been
I see you for who you are,
for who you're becoming every day..
Fight a hard battle
with what is worth challenging,
Do not cower with fear to what life can bring,
do not run from trial..
do not give into the gloom of winter,
when right around the corner comes spring.
Believe in something greater than we are,
not that it is easy, but because it's hard,
May you forever find new places
of this universe you love
and pieces of you built within.
Never let anything, not even love,
keep you from them.
Look at the stars for what they are..
instead of how they are painted.

This world is yours.
My heart is yours.

Awaiting my fate (:

...and just like that, she had stepped into a fairy tale. The faraway land rich with beauty and enchantment, the stories never told, sparkling under stars of gold ..

Rolling hills and willow trees, the images she conjured in her dreams. Wondrous sights, that ignited her light, no match for the magic that swirled in his eyes ..

Rescued from her forbidden tower, her dragons slayed, he reveals his power. Lost to his charm, the spell on her cast. She has fallen for her prince, their story begins at last .. 

The Puppeteer

My heart was yours,

I belonged to you alone.

The keeper of my soul;

entrusted with the key,

yours to do as you wanted

for you possessed all of me.

Anything you desired,

yours to fulfill every need;

I'd have broken myself into pieces

just to ensure you were pleased.

I allowed you to see through my walls,

my story was yours to read.

The smile you provoked has faded;

my heart left to bleed..

Artful Kisses

He was fiercely passionate,
even the way he kissed was a thing of art ..
The touch of his strong hands,
his forehead pressed to mine.
The way he brushed the loose
strands of hair from my face,
tucking them gently behind my ear.
He could make me shiver with
just the lightest touch and
leave me trembling before his lips
had even found their way to mind.

I savored his kisses,
like the very last measure of wine..

Just a wish!

Sometimes I wish you were small,

So that it would be easier for my hands,

My lips,

To scour over every inch of you

But I don’t mind if my body goes limp 

I will never get tired of touching you.

I know your head is floating off your shoulders and that

Your heart is so heavy that you are sinking beneath the floorboards.

It is okay to feel blank,

It is okay to feel anything you need to feel,

And even though I am a poet, not a painter,

I will try so hard to turn

A blank you into something beautiful

(Just in case you didn’t know,

You are already something so beautiful.)

We didn’t get to choose who,

Or how,

Or when,

Or why,

But you know what?

I don’t care about the technicals,

About the conventional,

And I know you don’t either.

I’m here for the sunshine, love

And oh god do you shine so bright.

But I am also here for the storms,

For the rain,

For every tear drop that streaks your cheek’s windowpane.

No matter how much

It hurts me to see you hurt,

I will take my hands,

My shaking hands,

Wipe every single one of them away.

"My heart’s not the strongest,

But it is all yours”

She says into the empty space of her room.

I want to make my way inside your chest,

Let your heart rest I will pump all your blood for you,

I will prop you up on my shoulders

I will be your human crutch,

I will walk you across the Atlantic until the saltwater fills my lungs

Or my own two legs give up

Because peach,

Loving you is not a matter of wading in the shallow end,

Headfirst I will dive right in.

This is not a question of how long I can float,

This is sink or swim.

This is me!

Let me introduce myself.
Despite our pleasant conversations where you told me I seemed “sweet”
it seems you’ve casually forgotten my existence.
I blame myself for that.
I was the one who laid down on the ground
waiting for you both to walk all over me.
Crush my ribs,
my windpipe,
my heart,
because I thought that’s what being in love meant.
I wonder if you thought of me,
as you crawled inside each other.
Frantic fucking because I know you’ve wanted him for longer than you’re willing to admit.
And I know,
I know more than anyone that he is easy to want more than you want to breathe.
Easy to lay down and die for because his presence feels like resuscitation and breathing his air feels like
reaching Heaven.
But did you think of me?
Could you taste me on his tongue?
Could you feel the grooves in the nape of his neck that my teeth left?
Could you smell fading notes of my perfume still clinging to his pores?
Could you hear the whispered proclamations I left in his ears just three days before
“I love you”
“I’ll miss you”
“I’ll see you soon”
The scent of vanilla hanging in the air wasn’t just fucking ambiance,
it was a piece of me I left behind.
Like deep brown hair on his pillow case,
looping around like a noose,
like the one you quietly wrapped around my neck
hidden under a façade of kindness.
They keep telling me I’m not supposed to be mad at you.
That he could’ve convinced you we weren't together.
But you and I both know,
you heard the air leave my lungs
as you crushed them under your heel.

Soulmates?

When two souls fall in love, there's nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. The presence that is felt through a hand held, a voice heard, or a smile seen.

Souls do not have calendars or clock, nor do they understand the notion of time and distance. The only know it feels right to be with one another.

This is the reason why i miss you so much when you are not there -- even if you are next to me but emotionally distant. I feel your absence; because heart doesn't realize the separation could be temporary. It comes to a sudden halt with a single thought of you parting away.

Can i ask you something?
Why is it everytime we say good night, it feels like good-bye?

Him.

Theres so much history in the way he looks at her. In the way he says her name. When they are together, there's a current that runs between them; like an electric charge on the verge of erupting into a perfect storm.

I don't love her anymore, he says.

And it is in the way he says the word 'her' - that tells me otherwise (:

For I have faith in you ..

I barely know you, she says, voice heavy with sleep.

I don't know if i cross your mind as much as you do. I don't know how long you plan on staying. I don't know if the world is right. I don't know what you love or hate about me. What keeps you up at night or the lullabies that sing you to sleep.

I don't know a thing about the first girl you loved, why you stopped loving her, or why you still do.

I don't know how many millions of cells you are made of and if they have any idea they are part of something so beautiful and unimaginably perfect.

I may not have a clue about any of these things, but this - *she places her hand on his chest and looks up to face his mesmerizing eyes* - this i know. I have trusted and confided in you for i believe you have a good heart.

I believe in US.

Fate: True or False?

A question that has been deeply rooted in my mind for the past 7 months. Does fate exist?

I can’t deny the fact that some coincidences seem like they could be planned out—falling into line precisely where they should. But I won’t believe that our future is already in the stars—carved into some prophecy and unable to be changed. I won’t believe that we have no say—that in the end, all will turn out how it was written for us—mere marionettes strung to a puppeteer while they narrates our own stories. No—I’ll never accept that.

Tomorrow will always be uncertain—a bend in the horizon. The future is a series of twists, turns, and snap-changes simply by a decision to go in one direction instead of another.

I don’t believe in soul mates. Though rare, sometimes people do have that connection but I don’t believe we were ever “meant to be.” We just happened—an accident. We met and feelings sparked. Although a result of dumb luck and curiosity, there’s no doubt in my mind that we’re true. I fell in love—most of the time, without you.

You have no way to break me. Try from every angle—you’ll never win. Invisible, intangible, impenetrable hope is my natural shield. With passion, persistence, and love innately flowing through my blood, you cannot stop it no matter your attempts.

I believe in hope

I believe in faith

I believe in miracles

I’ll narrate this fairytale ending and I’ll create my own luck

I will prove those skeptics wrong—I’ll prove you wrong

I will tear prophecies to shreds—you’ll see

Because every time you run away, you take me with you.

I don’t believe in many things.

But there is one thing that I can be certain of: I believe in you. And I believe in me.

That’s all I would ever need to write my own destiny.

Here without you.

I'd like to be, in a room just you and me

We'll talk our eyes to sleep

And when it's over and we part, you'll remain inside my heart

You see I can't forget your face, your face, your face

C'mon, my love, it's you I'm thinking of

Each night, we kiss, you're hands upon my fingertips and

It's not, that bad, just don't forget what we have

And time, won't mean a thing, cause I'll be thinking of you love

It's been three months and now you're running circles, deep inside my head

When I thought all the love inside of me was dead

So don't think twice my love, oh no, about how much you mean to me

I'll say it one more time, so loud, so clear

You are the only one, the only one that's ever really listened to me

You are the only one, the only one that's ever really mattered to me

So don't you go

Don't you go

Come now don't worry about the things you'll do next week

For just this once can we pretend, it's you and me

And everything that falls between the lines won't mean a thing

So take my hand, we'll run away

From everything, from everything, from everything, from everything..

Universal search for happiness ..

I was thinking of people who say that happiness is impossible on earth. Look how hard they  all try to find joy in life. Look how they struggle for it. Why should any living creature exist in pain? By what conceivable right can anyone demand that a human being exist for anything but his own joy? Every one of them wants it. Every part of him wants it.  But they never find it. I wonder why. They whine and say they don’t understand the meaning of life. There’s a particular kind of people that I despise. Those who seek some sort of a higher purpose or ‘universal goal,’ who don’t know what they live for, who moan that they must ‘find themselves.’ You hear it all around us. That seems to be the official bromide of our century. Every book you  open. Every drooling self-confession. It seems to be the noble thing to confess. I’d think it would be the most shameful one.’

That's how friendship works!

Even though I've just met you, I believe we will be friends.

First, I will tell you something about me, then you can tell me something about you, as that, I believe, is how friendship works.

Here is something I believe: I believe that people don't know how people work when they're young and maybe that's why we're so reckless with each other when we're young.

I think people think that people come and go, in and out of life and I think that school teaches them that, that life changes in big annual movements, that one year you're this and the next, you're that. But life blends into itself as you get older and you realise, you will watch a few, if not many, of your friends get old.

You will watch them lose their minds and their hair. You will watch them get sick and get better. You will watch them succeed and fail. You will watch them get married, get divorced, get pregnant and yes, eventually, you will watch them die. Or they will watch you die.

So this is what I believe friendship means. And I'm sorry to have to put such a heavy burden on you. But you have put the same burden on me.

Now you can tell me something you believe, as it is your turn, and this is how friendship works.